I REMEMBER

THIS ENTRY WAS DUE LONG TIME AGO…IT TOOK ME 2YEARS TO COMPLETE IT…SNIPS OF MY LIFE…

I REMEMBER

When I hated school holidays…

School holidays just seem to be forever…

And I will be looking forward to school reopen…

Meeting back my friends and being able to play with them…

But this very people who I call friends are the ones who spoilt my childhood…

I hate kids coz they can be so mean, without knowing the consequences of their action on other people…

I REMEMBER

When life was so lively…

Joining band for the 1st time…

Thinking that this was just a CCA…

To fulfill the requirements of the school education…

Getting over and done with it by the time I leave my primary school…

But I will soon learn that once the music in me is unleashed, it can’t be stop…

I REMEMBER

When my voice was hardly heard by anyone…

Not because I m shy…

But because of the fear…

Fear of being “shot at” when I voice my opinion…

Hence the only conversation that I have is one with myself…  

 

I REMEMBER

When I can’t wait to leave and start a “new life”…

To start a new chapter and leave the problems that I had behind…

With the people who I called my “sisters”…

Little did I know that that will not be the only time I would feel like running away…

I will soon find out that I will be doing a bit of running in my life…

Running from the people around me and maybe from myself…

I REMEMBER

When I kept pushing myself…

In every aspects that is possible…

Being in a new environment…

New people…

Always trying to outdo what others expects of me…

Including my own expectations…

The sky seems to be within reach, only when you jump a higher…

Always stretching a little more to try and reach for the stars…

Failure is not a word that exists in my list of vocabulary list…

But little did I know that it is not your success that matters so much…

It is how you pick yourself up when you fall…

And I was going to be tested in this area…

Slowly but surely…

I REMEMBER

When I 1st complain about not having freedom…

Looking at others and envying all the freedom that they have…

Even for the smallest freedom that they have…

Feeling that my parents are overly strict and unreasonable…

I continued hoping that the freedom will come overtime…

But little did I know as to how long I have to wait for the freedom…

And overtime, the ray of hope just seems to get smaller and smaller…

I REMEMBER

When I 1st met a girl…

Someone who I am scared off…

I even told myself that I shall not be too close to her…

Not sure why I reacted this way…

But one thing I can say is that she is now one of my best friends…

And after meeting her, Shikin will never be the same anymore…

A touch of Manjuism…

I REMEMBER

When school seems so fun…

The journey to school in the morning with my best friends…

Marathoning to the school gate almost every morning…

Looking forward to recess…

When we “illegally” sneaking out food from the canteen to the “hut”…

Everyone will be busy writing…

Be it doing/copying homework, copying notes and corrections, exchanging tips for tests…

We can be doing the things that “need” to be done…

But still have the time to gossip and catch up on the latest news…

Memories still fresh in our minds till now…

Just like our names craved on the hut…

I REMEMBER

When I 1st move to the music instead of making the music…

Mind blowing…

With someone like Lulu leading the cheerleading group…

You can’t go wrong…

From what was suppose to be a one time event…

It turned out to be a yearly activity marked out on my calendar…

I REMEMBER

When opportunities keeps knocking on my door, one after another…

Given the chance to explore different things in life…

Being a leader in band, council, peer leader…

I will try to embrace everything that comes my way…

Little did I know that I will soon learn that one can’t be greedy…

Not everything in life that comes to you is “FEASIBLE”…

Hence, one has to learn to pick and choose…

With the time that you have, you can only do that much…

I REMEMBER

When BGR issues came when I least expected…

I was so worried and paranoid…

My parents seem to be the only thing that was on my mind…

The thought of potentially being “caught” was so excruciating…

That I run away from it…

But little did I know that there might be a deeper reason behind my running away…

Potential reasons like commitment phobia and fear of “failure”…

Issues that if not address quickly, will never be solved…

And I m still learning…

Maybe all I need is to find the one…

But a few “ONEs” came and left…

But none fits the requirements…

Am I asking for too much?

I wonder…

I REMEMBER

When me and my friends decided to be involved in the teachers’ day performance…

My very 1st “dance”…

“NO PROBLEM…NO PROBLEM”…

For those who were involved in it would find the phrase familiar…

Failing to get thru the audition for the 1st time, we came back for the 2nd time…

And boy did we shock the school…

And story told from the songs that we dance…

And “stripping” on stage…

That caught some “people” off guard…

But it was all worth it…

I REMEMBER

Wearing a dress for the 1st time in my life…

A long blue dress…

With the pale shades of pastel colours shawl…

Thanks Nisha for lending me…

I intended to blow some people off with the dress and I think I DID!!!

The lights on…our eyes met…and the after effect…

The jaw was left hanging…

I blushed but what can I say…

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED…hee…

The one and only time anyone ever see me as a lady…

And the faithful event was at Raffles Hotel…

I REMEMBER

When I 1st got a call from a Malay guy…

To be exact, I was on my way home from mediacorp…

“Can you audition for MC of our show”…

Not that I have problems with that…

It’s just that it’s a Malay show…

I have to wear BAJU MELAYU…

Pity me…I had to even borrow from my friend’s baju kurung…

“Lemak ketam” colour…

That is what they say the colour is…

But after that experience, I realize one thing…

When you can’t fit into the community, don’t even bother trying…

You will just end up hurting yourself…

I bet 80 percent of the main com does not know my name…

At the end of the day, I left no mark behind…

For I didn’t have my picture taken…

I guess they just don’t know where to fit me…

Ever since then, I told myself, “that would be the 1st and the last time I ever do any sort of MC-ing”…

I REMEMBER

When I always thought I am a “nobody”…

One who can be in the scene and not be notice at the end of the day…

But when reality hits me, it was an interesting yet scary at the same time…

From the colour of the tops I wear…

To the fact that I was wearing eye liner…

To the exact place where I always have my lunch…

To the breaks and the classes that I have…

To me being a debater…

To me being a band player…

To whom I talks to…

There is someone noticing…

Always there but never obvious enough for me to notice…

But I guess, at the end of the day, our path never really meet for we are from 2 different worlds…

The good thing is…

We managed to keep things between us a secret…

An amazing thing for him as he is in the “sociable” group…

While I am from the ANTI social groups…

Thanks…

I REMEMBER

When I get my 1st dosage of adrenaline…

Through dance competition…

Moments that will forever be engraved on my heart…

The ups and downs that we go thru…

The conflict that we face…

The times when we feel like we are not going to make it…

But little will I learn in the future…

That the “memories” of going thru…

The few minutes of dance…

The endless preparation towards the competition…

It’s all worth it…

For nothing you go thru in life beats that few minutes that you were on stage…

The adrenaline really started pumping…

The people calling your name…

The costumes…

The hat…

The moves…

The songs…

The groove…

Your FRIENDS…supporting you…

Even if it means he has to buy the ticket…

Come alone for the event…

Just to watch my performance and leave…

It means a lot…

Really a lot…

I REMEMBER

The time spent with friends…

Skipping school during special school events…

A friend lending his T-shirt…

And I had my 1st pool session lesson…

Seeing “a pro in the making”…

Teaching me how to master playing pool…

And beating him twice at the end of it was a sweet victory…

But little did I know…

That such sweet victory should be savored…

For it won’t last forever…

Savor the moment…

For you will never know when it will “DIE”…

I REMEMBER

When you come into my life…

Making me feel like I am the luckiest gal on earth…

With the care and concern that you shown to me discretely…

Showing it in your own way…

All those night spent on the phone till the wee hours…

The song that till now will stay in my heart…

Little did I know that the dream I had had a great consequences to it…

To give oneself to the other

And be there for him/her in times of ups and down…

The pain that I will inflict on myself is like a sharp knife piercing through my heart…

Piercing over and over again…

Tormenting me through out my whole life…

But I learnt…

I surely did learn…

Or so I think…

I REMEMBER

The 1^st time my world seems to crumble…

All this while, my life has follows that passage that is indirectly marked out for me…

But, suddenly, my whole life change…

The most important time of my life and I screw it…

You were there…

You were there for the last time in my life…

You appeared for the last time before disappearing forever…

Not really forever…

Years down the road, you drop a message to say hi…

But that was all…

You were there…

That’s all that matters…

Ensuring that everything is ok…

So near yet so far…

You always said, “How I wish I can give you a hug but…”….

You should have just done it…

It doesn’t matters…

Memories are the only thing I have of you now…

I REMEMBER

The 1st time you said hi to me…

With that smile of yours…

So warm and comforting…

Little did I know that the friendship that was forged will go so deep…

And you have been a part of me ever since…

As simple as, “Hi my name is Cynthia”, you manage to change my life…

Someone who makes me open up…

To explore the side of me that I never knew exist…

Loving you goes way beyond words can describe…

And I have to say, I am one lucky person to have known you and to be even this close to you…

I REMEMBER

My 1st stalk of rose that I received…

Its beauty overwhelmed me…

But suddenly…

A wave of sadness consumed me…

For I know that such beauty will not last…

In a few days time, it will die…

Perish totally from the earth…

But someone wise told me…

That nothing in the world last forever…

Just like us humans…

The only thing that last forever is the memories…

Hence, we should enjoy the moments while it is still there…

And to keep it in our heart once it is gone…

No sadness and no regrets…

For you know you have live thru it to its fullest…

But in a lighter note, the next bouquet I receive from the same person wasn’t real flowers…

It is stalks of bears and they looks like angles in the clouds…

Loved it and still loving it…

Thanks…

I REMEMBER

The 1^st time I went out with you…

I never knew someone can be so into reading…

Introducing me to all the books there are out there that I should read…

Impressed, I am but I wish things would have stayed simple…

Slowly, things gets more and more complicated…

Actually, life is not so complicated…

We humans make it complicated…

But I have no regrets…

I have given my all…

I think it was not meant to be…

We were not meant to be…

Or so I think…

Memories of you I had will always remain in my mind…

And most of the memories that I have of you is the portrait of you from the back…

How I wish……….

It’s ok…it doesn’t matter…

It’s ok…

I should learn to get over him…

And I still am…

I REMEMBER
The happiest thing that ever happens to me…

You came to save me from the black hole that I was in…

I didn’t expect anything out of you…

But you give me fulfillment…

Brings out the girl in me…

Made me realize that I have a lot to offer…

Life is as big at the open sea…

You may never know what is in stall for you till you take a dip into the sea and see the life underneath…

You play a small but important role in my life…

Thanks…thanks for everything…

It shall be a beautiful dream that I will always remember…

Picture says a thousand words…

It really does coz when I look at the pictures; I feel a whirl of emotions come to me…

 

I continue to remember many of things in my life…

Many things that were erased as I embarked the journey of my life…

But I still have to continue this journey of mine…

Life is full of mystery and only time will reveal what is install for me…

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mY “fArEwELL”..

I wonder if i will ever have the opportunity to post this entry..

It is 14 march now n this will be my so call project that i m embarking till i get to go the SEAYAP thing..i m keeping my fingers cross hoiping that i get thru..my dream..to close this chapter of life with this program b4 i start on a new chapter of my life..

To all my frens..i thank each and everyone of you..you have made me who i m today..some say i have change from an ugly duckling to a princess..well, partially true..but how come at the end of the day, i still feel ugly on the inside..it’s like when i look into the mirrior, i do not like the person i have turn out to be..but then again, pple evolved..this is how i have evolved..this is how i feel..

I wish could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who’s inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I’m through
It’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways
But it’s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I’m just trippin’
You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That man can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty

me making enermies??be it for myself or for others..do i??yes..i might make my own enermies along the way without me realising but as for you, the one making the enermies is not me..you seem to always fail to look at the whole big pic..but at the end of the day, one thing is for sure..your view on me will always be the same..no matter wat i do..is there any use for me to prove myself??coz all my effort will either go down the drain or backfire back on me..would any saint person continue??it hurts, i know..the pain i m going thru, only god knows..but i m applying everything that you have thought me all along..

“Do not waste your tears coz it will be of no use”..

“you have change to someone who i don’t recognise anymore”..

“you have turn from bad to good to worst”..

“you make enermies”..

“You don’t miss your friends”..

“you have no emotions”..

“You r selfish, egoistic, arrogent”..

I m pulling myself not because i don’t care for my frens..it’s because i care too much that i would rather cry by myself..indulging myself in doing things that doesn’t realli matter when all i want to do is to call and hear how you r doing..but then, i pull myself back..

I wonder who i was writing about??unpublished entry dates 13 March 2007…i sounded so angry…

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How to be a gal…(more girly)

haiz..at last, i agreed to go to the salsa club..gosh, it was crazy..and the cool thing was, we got a nice corner to our self from the beginning to the end..learn new stuff..but of course, being someone who is not a gal, how to dance partner dance..so, to add to the list, i now have 3 guys saying i have to learn to take the lead from the guy..hee..i know..dancing with me is not that easy..TRUST ME..

i was angry at the end..but not at my partner..but at myself..to not be able to follow and take the lead is difficult..to make it worst, i was so stress lah..maybe that’s y i was fucking stiff..opps..no vulgarity..

but at the end of the day, i have to say that i enjoyed myself..don’t know about my partner though..i bet he had one of the most “INTERESTING” dancing experience..don’t worry..since you survive dancing with me, you can dance with anyone man..haha..thanks for yesterday..

then, the whole nite on the way home and when i slp and the whole of today, i have been reflecting about myself, using salsa as an analogy..i have nv been able to express myself clearly to my partners in my life..until recently..i learn that sometimes, we have to juz take the step in the dark and see where that leads us..express wats in your mind..don’t think so much about the consequences..don’t think about wat pple thinks about us..yes, most of the time, we end of hurt..but it onli makes us stronger i guess..it’s a surprise who can teach me such things..but u know who u are..even though it was short, it was worth it..it wasn’t a success but i guess i tried..with you, u saw me as a gal..n i will always cherish every minute, every second, every moment i spend with you..it wasn’t meant for us i guess..but i didn’t say that it is impossible to happen again..onli time will tell..missing you dearly..

the other part of the salsa dancing part that i reflect to myself is the in control part..i prefer to be incontrol in life..if not totally, at least a big portion of my life..coz that is the onli thing that is keeping me saint..according to my foster sis, it’s the trait of a 1st child..responsibility has always been put on me, directly or indirectly..so i become someone hard on the outside so that i have the strength to go through life..

And i put it upon myself when i don’t perform ot expectation..i get angry with myself..it’s the same at home also..when i don’t impress my parents enuf, i will sulk the whole day and be in bad mood..and the nxt day, i will set and aim to achieve wat i failed..to live up to the expectation or exceed the expectation..i will not settle for smthg lower than that..

haiz..suddenly i m thinking..y m i so stress??y have i been thinking about all this juz because i went salsa yesterday??i also don’t know..my brain works on itls own..i have no fraking idea!!!!

Till the nxt time ciao..

P.S: Strawberry, what ever you r going through,i will always be here for you till fate pull us apart..(i hope not so soon..i hope it will not happen!!)..

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Get a hold of myself!!!!!

y shikin??y??

was it not enuf what you went through??

problem is without fail SHE keep inflicting pain on HERSELF..

subconsciously, SHE hurt HERSELF..

but y??

looking at HERSELF, SHE feels helpless..

but nevertheless, no one will ever know..

it’s like a disease..if it is not cure from the source/cause of it, it will nv be over..

but SHE insist one letting the disease continue to spread..

afraid to face reality straight in the face..

SHE hides behind the wall and juz look over like an angel

Hoping that one day, SHE will be noticed and SHE matters..

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y is my heart so heavy…

have you ever had the feeling that there is smthg in your heart but u don’t know wat it is??

it’s juz weighing your heart down..

so many things in my mind but nothing makes sense..

maybe i have to identify wat it is and deal with it..

the weight is pulling me down so bad that at times, i cry..

for not reason..

at least, for no reason that i know of..

juz feeling sad..and i hate that..

for someone who wants to be strong in the eyes of others, i m failing badly in that aspect..

i m trying to find myself..i need to open up everything that is kept in me all this while..issues, problems that was put on hold..

but will i be able to handle the outcome?the impact?

i wonder….

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weird2 weekend…

i swear my hp was possessed or smthg..

on sat, being a raining day, a bit lazy to go out..

plan with idil to meet up but he didn’t call..

when i woke up to call him, i realise his number is gone..

after like staring at my hp for 5 mins, i looked for his hm number n called..

his mom said he is out..

i was like "m i dreaming??"..

then called my strawberry to ask for his number..

called him and he sounded weird..

can’t be bothered to talk on the hp so i ended my comvo fast..

was gg back to slp but can’t..

kept thinking about my hp..

realise a lot of the number were missing..

like my tuition kid number..

some of my ex collegue..

my frens..

hmm..wat happen???i also don’t know…

alas, i msg my 2 "1st 3 months" babes and we met up..

being stress on that day (due to many reasons..hp os juz one of them)..

my 2 babes manage to make me forget about everything and made my sat a fantastic one..

shopping..(therepy i tell you)..of course the impact is on my wallet..

even though i know was barely surviving for the month, still when ahead with the shopping..

dresses..lingerie..earrings..pendant..top……went to starbucks at PS..slack there…veri nice….

pple watch..chat..catch up on each other..made my sat a fantastic one..

and you know wat’s weirder, at 1plus am on sun, suddenly, most of the number came back!!!..it was almost 12 hours that the numbers went missing..ahrg..i also don’t know wat happen…

oh ya, on fri, went esplanade to see fire works with my strawberry…i had so much fun…chatting..to updates..to seeing the fireworks..to photo whoring..laughing our heads off over everything and over nothing..

sun..wet2 day..had tuition..met nisha after tuition since i was near her place..chat..laugh..went to her house to see her sis wedding photos..laugh somemore..hahaha..then i head home..

to sum it all up, i had a great weekend catching up with my frens and enjoying their company..can’t wait for the nxt weekend..the last weekend b4 my nxt major closing..nxt week is gg to be a hecktic week..

on a lighter note, my office is so cool..they have dance classes for us to sign up..i juz finish my cardio latino dance for the last 4 weeks..nxt 4 weeks, it’s jazz aerodics dance..and the following 4 weeks, belly dancing i think..wow..like this, i will always have fun with all the different dance classes……;p

till the nxt time..Ciao..;p

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blank

well, i shall leave the title blank as my brain is also blank but at the same time, full of things to write..does it makes sense??

1st of all, i m back to teaching tuition..wat to do..need the money..so ya..hate it but have to do it..and national day was a blast..thanks strawberry for everything..for being in the dance with me..for being there for me when i need you..love you..

anyway, i would like to thank my bday buddy, pibot, ans azi, BPY07, for coming to singapore during national day..i hope you guys enjoyed the national day parade parade, concert and everything..the supper at beach road and mount faber..even though i was tired, being ard you guys makes me feel so happie till i lose track of time..as you can see, some frens that i have don’e have the luxury of calling and meeting everyday..we have a bloody 6 hours journey betw our country..miss you lah pidot..pray that i can go KL soon..azi, you r juz so cute..now that you have pass pidot’s test, you shld be proud..i don’t know how you survive 2 weeks with pidot..hahaha..

n i m sad..shifting house..moving everywhere..everything is in a rush..no mood to celebrate raye..i hate moving..you will nv know how much things means to you till you r about to lose them..my best frens..tini and ju..we no longer can meet late at nite..will definitely miss them..they r the 1st pple to know things in my life..and they r the pple who probably knows me the most..(veri limited pple know me..n some pple, even when you wanna let them in your life, they not exactly ready to give committment coz it works both ways i guess)..tini and ju, i will miss you guys..i hope we can hold on till we grow old..i would love to grow old knowing that you guys r by my side, physically and spiritually..thanks for planning the wed with me to arab street..hee..had fun..with the food, drink, shesha and OF COURSE YOUR COMPANY..

n top story of the day..my sister is attached and i m not shock if she were to get engage in 6month to 1 year..and married in like 2 years..TOO FAST!!!!!!..but wat to do, she is juz an ideal wifey..can cook, like kids, can relate to old pple and she is a career woman..wow..she is like super woman..i don’t know the guy so well but from wat i hear and feel, he seems to have pass my "qualifying test"..1st one to have pass my test for my sis..all the way sis..wish you all the best..my mom n dad knows about him..haiz..with that comes some unknown or unseen pressure on my side..lets not talk about it..i had given enuf though about it and there is no answer to it..

okies..time to start my work..till the nxt time..Ciao..

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songs playing over and over again in my head for now…

1) at the beginning: veri deep meaning..SSEAYP 07 shld know..especially one one…

2) Doom: the most crazy dance of the Singapore nite..i swear, if i dance that song again, the effect on pple will still be the same..SCREAM!!!!

3) M.U.S.I.C: some korean song..

4) Here without you: stupid song recently keep playing in my head..what could be the reason??maybe i know but i refuse to think about it..

5) Hurt: another song that is so depressing but it feels good..

6) Life is short: Grey’s anatomy song..

7) 4 minutes: was suppose to dance to that song for National day but change of arrangement.

Helena: gd song to let go off everything in our mind..

9) Soulmate: another depressing song..haiz..

10) the kill: okies..i love this song..veri "soothing" for me..

11) what hurts the most: someone dedicated the song to me b4..

120 Only hope: it’s by mandy moore..i realise smthg..i kinda like mandy moore song..1st was stupid cupid (samng last last vday)..and now this song..i don’t know y but it hit somewhere deep in me when i listen to it…

Lyrics of ONLY HOPE

There’s a song that’s inside of my soul
It’s the one that I’ve tried to write
over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have
for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

I give you my destiny
I’m giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I’m giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

I am in love with the song currently..maybe there is smthg in the song that i can relate to..juz maybe…

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early weekend, super “long” weekend and extended weekend..

well2..i have to say, one of the most fulfilling weekend i have had so far..

thurs: had the futsal thing..competition between dept in my office..tentatively stop work at 12pm..lunch till 1pm..prac our cheerleader thing..oh ya, i am in the cheerleading thing..thank god everything work out..our "HSM" cheerleading moves work..except one gal drop out on the actual day..of course lah..take one day to learn..and she not like some pro or smthg..wat do ya expect..then everytime prac, face step like wanna kena slap..but actually she is nice lah..juz her face..i wished she would still have stayed in the team though..anyway, prac like till 2.30pm..then rest and we headed to "CAGE" at kallang..small but cozy lah..we had 2 cage..opening number was our cheerleader moves..i think, when u dance in front of pple you know is more scary that dancing in front of thousands of strangers..but we did well..pressure man..i m new..already given the chance to lead in the cheerleader team..i have to cater to all their demands..and my boss, boss, boss was there..funny coz i have nv seen her, nv spoke to her..of course lah i blur..i heard she will be there but i had the impression that she will be some quiet lady..like iron lady like that..what i didn’t realise was the lady who spoke to me after our cheerleading item was HER..i onli realise it when during the futsal, she stood up and shouted to one of the opponent player, "eh..don’t block and tackle my player or i won’t sign any of your cheques again"..i was laughing like mad..cute lah she..small in size but damn powerful lah..hee..anyway, my dept won 2nd position and out cheerleading won the best cheerleading award..actually, there is onli 1 cheerleading team lah..haha..apparently, every event, if your do smthg out of the box, there will be a "surprise" award..not that it matter to me coz we share to prizes of the futsal and cheerleading for "makan2" after aug month close..

Fri: Had dept dinner..so we stop work at like 4pm..haha..but we couldn’t do much coz one of our system was close for upgrading..so ya..this time, met the big pple again..at 1st scary..but i think i did well in the "impression shit"..even though my team was last in position for the games, i had lots of fun..then got a call from my buddy..asking me if i wanna go national museum..for some samba thing..i was suppose to go home, rest for the weekend but can’t resisit the temptation..went there..caught hairspray but wasted not the full one..missed the 1st part..onli watch like the 2nd half..but it was fun..caught my buddy’s cuz group doing like some tribal music..cool..then head to the zouk party for a while..the gal singer was damn gd lah..i like her voice..then i had to fource myself to go home..by the time reach home, slightly after 12am..told my mom not to wake me up early the nxt morning coz i gg to have a long nite the nite after that..but guess wat, i woke up earlier than norm..wat is wrong with me……..

sat: ate a good breakfast cum lunch thing..it’s nasi ambeng..i rarely eat rice..wat more so early..but it is one of my fav food when i was young..when i was still eating..but now, not so much..it juz brings back memories of my childhood..it’s the kind that cost 4 bucks (damn it cost 3 bucks last time i bought it)..but can share like min 2 person..max about 4 person..i ate so much i was full for the rest of the day man..then went to lib to settle my sun event..left the responsibility to my sis..damn she was worried, excited and stress for the event..hee..but gd exposure for her..anyway, after that, met the rest in douby ghaut..suppose to watch some asean thing..got a new fren in the process..Veena..not sure if i spell it correctly..actually, i was a bit worried about the show..it’s sounds like some intellectual thing..it turns out to be more shocking..IT’S A SILENT "MOVIE"..i can’t help but to laugh at the beginning..but as we got into the middle of the show, my mind was working too much..too much for a weekend..working ot lah my brain..ok lah..not bad..interesting..new experiences..then we head to PS to meet another Veena..hee..from PLAY..the new Veena had to leave..how i wished she would have join..she’s fun to be around..then we headed to Butter Factory..i tell you, for a place with an age limit of 21 (gals) and 23 (guys), the deco is quite kiddish..but i like the place..the music was gd..strawberry and Veena was dancing like crazy..i think they had a blast man..me too..but i wonder where the 2 guys keep on MIA..but what matters is we had fun..Dras and her fren Rubiya (i think that is how it is spelt)..both of them also crazy..fun..started at about 1130pm, left at about 330am..almost non stop except when we took a break at about 3am..then we headed to SPIZE..ate my prata..danny and idil with their kebab burger thing…strawberry with her briyani and Veena with her cheese prata..but strawberry stomach had a culture shock from non-stop clubbing i think..she couldn’t finish her food..danny was super hungry i think..clean man his plate..idil had difficulty with the big burger..i think danny handles the BIG burger better than idil..hahaha..then we walk2..idil and strawberry sing at the bus stop..veena and me looking at each other..i think she is thinking of the same thing..danny, i don’t know if he is tired or juz grumpy..later he said that he is like that in the morning..grumpy..haha..oh man..i wouldn’t want to see him in the morning when he wake up man..everyday also grumpy..idil juz smile when he said that..i guess idil had seen many of those from danny..i took 65 and stop at orchard..took train and head to pasir ris..

Sun: NEXT Challenge was scary lah..i am in the committee..but i was incharge of sponsorships..so the actual game part was a bit scary for me..so, i stress my sis more b4 the rest came..question her so that there won’t be any loop hole..the rest came..went to the mangrove..starting was a bit scary but towards the middle, our station was rolling..i think we r the most enthusiastic n organised station..all involved in our station were fun pple..and i think we received the least complains..i don’t know lah..but it was fun..didn’t feel tired at all..we were cheering the teams to continue as they r near the end..oh ya, juz for your info, the event is an overnite event..so they were tired when it comes to our station..but without fail, they will leave with some what spirit to comtinue..after that, went to kovan for the closing ceremony..then went home at 4pm..reach home by 5pm..shower (don’t calculate when was the last time i showered)..watch tv..don’t remember when i fell aslp..but the nxt thing i know, i heard my mom waking my sis up..i was like "huh..wat time is it?"..IT WAS 630AM..gosh i slpt ofr almost 12hours..n it felt good..

Mon: after work, planned to watch "Dark knight" with asman..it was cool man..batman was fantastic but i think joker was better..so good..i love the character..then went home at about 1230am..

today: planning to slp early but i know i won’t..suppose to have national day rehearsal but can’t attend coz i have my dance class..

oklah..till the nxt time..Ciao..

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haizzzz…

i officially hate credit cards..i know..not as if i have any and it doesn’t affect me rite??NO!!!…it bloody hell affect my work lah..becoz of this stupid thing called credit card, i have complicated work and my head is spinning..to top things off, my comp crash like last last fri..i know..like F**K..argh..now my 2 months work is gone..argh…i can’t trace back..my head is spinning..n i am getting agitated..when i m stress, i snap..and i nag..and i easily get irritated..and this is wat i m gg thru right now..haiz……….

Anyhow, putting work aside, lets blog happie stuff..for the past few months, i have been splurging a little..new mp3, new hp, new camera..they might not be the most advance gadget but they r new n i love them (i am easily satisfied..hee)..got clothes (for work mostly since i can’t afford to but normal clothes)..shoes..more shoes..from heels to wedges..you name it, i have it..and i am making my mom crazy..she is on the verge of throwing all my shoes out of the house..better hide them at a place my mom can’t get her hands on..hee..

last sat shop again..but i was window shopping mostly..will tell you y later..you shld check out this place called "CLUB MARC"..i think that’s the name lah..at cental at clarke quay..veri posh..veri nice..i like it..and they r having sale from……..2/2/08 to 2/2/09…ya….bloody 1 year sale..and the stuff are so cool..from chic handbags, accessories, shoes and clothes for gals…to sleek ultra cool guys wear..i think they might have sold other guys stuff but i was too caught up with the gals stuff..but i fell in love with one of the guys’ long sleeve shirt..stripes of black and royal purple kind of things..wow..and the sale person that was attending that area was super cute lah..arab mix look kinda thing..can you imagine, the shirt was so nice that i didn’t notice the sales guy till he said hi and offered his assistance..of course lah at that moment, i was caught off guard..haha..paiseh man..anyway, i love the shirt..realli..finding the suitable ONE to carry off the top..hee..i am scouting for THE ONE..haha..

anyhow, i hate loans..and stupid thing is they didn’t send me a letter to tell me that i was due to start paying my loan..and now i owe like 4 months of installment..argh..more that 1K..where in the world m i suppose to get such money??hmm..i guess i might juz take up tuition till my loan installement is over..that means till end of nxt year..haiz….

wat else ar..oh ya..i was so looking forward to my appointment for massage on last fri which was booked like 1 month plus ago..i was like rushing after work, smiling to myself..(about so many things in my head i guess)..fri was a pleasantly surprising day for me i guess..onli to know that the outlet i was at was the wrong one!!!!..my name was under the cityhall outlet, not orchard..argh..sad..and once again, i have to re book and my schedule is kinda pack for the time being (till national day)..so i guess, it has to wait..ish…

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